Monday, April 12, 2010

Finding out where nowhere is

Twilight.  No, not the book nor movie.  The real deal.  The spot where the sun is -6° ≤ θs < -0° 50'.  Well, that is for civil twilight.  There is also Nautical and astronomical twilights but for our story telling purposes we will not concern ourselves with the 12 degrees or so difference that is relative to the  earth's horizon.  Relative.  All that exactness and the word picture we associate with 'horizon 'depends on the one word (relative) so many  can't conceptually get right.  Unless, of course, it suits them (us).   But I am offtrack and with such precision in the above I must soldier on.

There is this point that is not completely lit nor completely dark. 

I ran into this guy today.  (My writing instructor just tensed.  Fine).  I stumbled upon an older but spry gent around dusk.  (Better?)  I knew I should have taken the corner table at the coffee shop.  I did not.  He locked eyes with me on outside patio table number two and it was to late to gaze off.  I had been caught and the price was a good two hour conversation.  What does not kill you makes you want to die, sometimes.

There were no nice icebreakers.  Not even a smiling handshake.  Eyes locked.  He spoke. "Son, you look scared."  


Typically, I would have deflected.  As in, "Oh?  What makes ya say that?"  Then it gets off me and more on concept.

Not today.  Today was, "I am not just scared.  I am fucking scared."  I waited for him to wince at my language.  

He didn't.

Great stopping point, don't you think?  Does the rest really matter?  Oh, you want a story?  Maybe later (gotta tie that twilight thing in, yes?).  I am still processing it all. 

 And I am still scared.  Fucking scared.